When the music stops1

A Revelation: I am/have been jealous of Taryn and Carolyn.
Because
they are outgoing
they will try anything
they don't care what other's think
they don't get embarassed like me
they know how to have fun
they make friends easily
they can be silly and know when to be serious
they're cool
they have their own sense of style
they always have a cool idea
they are constantly doing something
they are always exuberant
they are loud in a good way
they do fun things together
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My scar is getting worse, it's grown very wide (like they said it would) and it's sooo red!
It's so ugly, I hate it. I feel like when someone will see it they will say "ewww, gross!". I think my body looks my mom's. My mom's always complaining about her weight. My stomach looks exactly like hers, even if I am 116.5 and she's 140 or something. I'm shorter than her, maybe that's why.
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Today in aerobics we had to dance to this workout video (it was a dance workout video). I was about to cry because I can't move my hips, atleast, not the way girls do at my school. They can dance all sexy and pretty-what can I do? I can foxtrot and waltz. I like the foxtrot and the waltz, but I wish I could atleast be confident enough to shake my hips a little in public. But I know look stupid and like a white girl who can't dance, so why try.
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Tonight I went to see Seussical the Musical (Lyman's musical this year) with Melissa Benson and Matt Travers (a couple, they are seniors from Northland). Melissa drove me there and back, also with Nate Travers (Matt's bro, who is also Ben's bro) , and Shane Benson (her lil bro who is a freshie too). I was looking at Matt and Mellissa in the front seat when were going home; I hope I find my husband soon.
The musical was good, the singing was great, and I think the kid who played horton (atleast I hope) purposely sang that way. The Cat (Nick Marrison) was really good, amazing; so was Gertrude and the Kangaroo. And of course JoJo, played by Jimmy, I have to give him applause too.