I Was Born For This

:-)

School has been really hectic with the end of the 9 weeks coming so soon. All the tests, exams, studying, etc is a bit intimidating (I get stressed out super easy). Even though school's getting crazy right now and it's a huge part of my day -on and off campus-, it's not taking up the majority of my "woes" right now ( :: tries to remember Luke 12:25 :: ).

Get ready for some pure-human selfishness: my parents always promised me a trip to Europe when I turned 16 (along with a car). Everything was going great, last Christmas they made the budget and it looked like I could get my car and my trip to Europe. But somehow, this year, we've spent too much and my mom (who's never worked in all the time I've lived) has to go back to work and no Euro trip for me. I'm not too bummed about Europe, never really was interested in there (I wanna go to Africa so bad, I hope Northland goes there this summer).
It's kinda scary realizing how serious things are, how my parents are mad at each other, and how they STILL keep spending money like crazy. They're looking into buying a new car.

Getting off that subject, this weekend Rudy said something that I don't think I've heard anyone say before. He said, just as a short side note something along the lines of "If you're a Christian and ever feel lost, which should happen often..."
I almost always, when I feel lost or just not close to God, try to fix it or find something wrong. When Rudy said that, it made me realize that maybe it's just me and my relationship going through a "cycle."
I mean, I'm not trying to say when I feel far from Him that it's good or I should just sit back, but it finally dawned on me that it's ok for me to feel that way and it's not necesarily my fault.

I think I like it better when I learn something from small, little things than the big, in-your-face ones.

*Later*
I love Him! I think my feelings of uneasiness are the way my hunger for Him is coming out.