I'm Such a Prideful Kid

Dangit. Grrr. Roar.
Ben's going to South Africa.
I want to go so badly, but now that Ben is going...
I love the kid, but I feel so, not uncomfortable, but certainly not comfortable.
I know it's just me. Maybe it's 'cus I subconciously look down on Ben 'cus of his grades; I feel like I'm above him 'cus of my "good" grades, or atleast my concern for getting into college.
The whole grades thing comes into play 'cus of how Sean is only letting 8 kids go to South Africa, and those 8 are the ones who have "shown a real interest in South Africa by talking to me [sean]." I guess I just felt special, better than others, 'cus I was one of those kids. The last thing I expected was for Ben to be one. I'm so horrible! -Lord, you must think I'm awful! Correction, you know I'm awful.

I'm rather a jerk always when it comes to my pride. That's why I don't like hanging out with other kids who can sing necessarily. I'm such a jerk.
I'm fine with Warren going. Actually, I'm more excited that he is. He's so awesome with kids -he'd love South Africa I think.

Sheesh, I'm so selfish. This blog is all about me. Grr. I hate what I am sometimes (always).
Lord, open my heart to Ben. Sometimes, he annoys me so bad because of how he approaches subjects, gah. How do I...nvm. I hate this. I'm a freaking emo now.