Not Superman

For the first time in my life, my mom wasn't able to fix everything. She tried to get my passport here on time, but she couldn't. I know she's only human, I realized a few years ago that she's actually "a person". But that didn't stop me from thinking she was superwoman.

They left at 4:30am this morning without me. I went to see them off. They left the Atlanta airport 25 minutes ago on the flight for South Africa without me. I don't understand. I really thought I was supposed to go.

I've cried so much yesterday and today. The only other times I can remember crying this much is when I didn't make all A Honor Roll in 1st grade, when we gave Joy back to the pound, and when my parents said I couldn't go see Adam. I think I've been the most distressed this time though. Everything pointed towards the idea that I was supposed to go... Pauline's call, my mom's feeling of peace about this trip and this trip only, all the money coming in, it just doesn't make sense...