My Mother

I'm so scared of falling in love. Even more than falling in love, I'm scared of falling out of love. I want to be appreciated, thought of, treasured. To know what it was like to be those things and then to have it ripped away (or subtly thrown off) would be torture to my soul.
The last thing I want is to be stuck in an awful marriage. I don't want to be unhappy and only stay for the children. I'm scared of being unhappy and only staying for the children. That would be an awful life to live.
I want to see the world and get out and enjoy marriage, but also enjoy my kids (if I choose to have any). I don't want to be stuck having to play the innocent, saintly mother that covers up messes so the kids aren't scarred. I don't want to be the referree. I don't want to be the only strong one, I need my husband's care and love (along with God, of course) to guide me and let me know that I am loved -and loved not just by him, but by Jesus too.
I'm so scared of feeling worthless. There are so many books and movies and real lives that are left empty by a bad marriage. I don't want that and I'm scared to death of it.

My mother is my hero.