Hurry, You Might Miss Me

E-mail to the wonderful Ben Travers:

Hey,
I know I said I was going to bed, but as soon as I got under the covers, I started thinking. So now I'm writing to you on my laptop (warm in my blanket).
I was thinking about what we said about Warren. And my thoughts went from there to the fact that all the lugleaders have social drama. I guess I always looked up to them (Lugleaders) so much that I never realized they were just kids. I never realized they made mistakes, that they gossipped, that they could be annoying, immature, or make unwise decisions.
I think part of that misconception comes from being the oldest child, but also 'cus I was kinda scared of older kids until the summer of 8th to 9th grade. It's been such a "rude-awakening" to realize that MY lugleaders weren't all they seemed to be.
When I think about how different all of us are, it's amazing to think that God can even get us to think about working together. Also, it's kinda scary that kids are already looking up to us (of all people, hehe) as examples of what Christians should be.
I never had an older sibling to watch, so I watched and made note of anything the lugleaders did. They were the only older kids who were nice to me that weren't babysitters (the older neighbor kids thought I was annoying...), so I really looked up to them.
It's so scary to think of all the things that I can regret (and already do) doing in front of middle schoolers. Like this week at ABS I forgot to take prayer requests (usually Cassie does that, but she wasn't able to make it that night). I don't want them to think that because I forgot about them, that prayer requests aren't important.
Um, I'm really not sure why I decided to tell you all of this. This is the kind of stuff that I write in my journal, not tell a friend.
Thanks for listening to my ranting,
Amy
P.S.If I can't convince myself to not like atleast one of the 2 guys (which has never happened before), I'll tell you who 1 or both of them are on the way back from Jamaica (I'm the kind of kid who feels like if you tell me who you like and trust me enough to keep it a secret, I should be able to trust you with mine, but I'm a coward when it comes to liking guys...). thankgoodness I'm not a guy, otherwise I would be 40 and not have my 1st date yet!