RED is the Color of Passion.

I want to burst into millions of tiny particles.
I feel so trapped in my body.
(ugh! I'm so self-centered! Look at this post and my "I want a guy" post!)

I thought summer was supposed to be stress free.
Why do I feel so stressed?
I just want to get out of here.
To be alone.
Be alone in the middle of nature.
In a Carolina forest.
A week in a small cabin by myself.
On the edge of a river, stream, lake.

I just want disappear.
I feel as if, if I could only un-zip myself out of this skin that I could be free.

I want to scream so loud and so high.
But I can't, Novie will know.

I don't even know what's bother me.
On the surface it's Adam.
It's something much deeper than that.
I'm only blaming it on him.
What is it?

If I had a zipper I know exactly where it would be.
It would lead from my my heart diagonally down my side and to the very bottom of my spine.
Then I'd have another going from where my spine meets my skull.
That one would go down to the bottom of my spine.
It'd be a big triangular flap that I could just wriggle out.
My soul, that is.
My should would wriggle out.
Leave my worldly body on the hard dirt.
Leave it to die, to rot, to be crushed.

A Prison Called Skin.